I do ALL of the above from time to time. My kids use textbooks for some things.

I consider myself an unschooler because I don't force or insist on something that my children don't want to do or learn. I want them to make their choices, I respect their ideas. That to me is what unschooling is.

I sometimes ALSO nudge a child who has committed him/herself to something, to follow through with it. That is still unschooling to me. Today my 14 y/o was not working diligently in her algebra textbook. Keep in mind that she chose the textbook, she chose to do algebra this year. There have been plenty of days when she has not worked in the book or done any math at all for weeks because she's been busy doing other things. That is ok. BUT - she did want to do this course of study, and she has been working steadily through the course most of the year. What I perceived today was a bit of foolishness and laziness and goofingoffness, so I sat with her (instead of saying, ok - go play outside - which I MIGHT have done another day under different circumstances! and have done!) and I prodded and encouraged and helped her through the lesson. Sometimes a child needs this, seems to be asking for this.

I bought the 8th grade Wile Physical Science course recently. 14 y/o is working hard at the archaeology lab, and decided that earth science was a course to study to help her along. She quickly worked through a computer online course in Earth science this year, and felt it wasn't vigorous enough. My son has been playing around with physics and chemistry on his own, so I thought this text might work for both of them. They were so excited as we drove to Radio Shack to pick up supplies for the first experiment. We did it so schoolishly - me reading the lesson, them doing the experiment, then writing up a summary and lab report. I was secretly surprised, yet pleased, to see them writing long descriptions about the experiment and what they learned. My son was really excited about understanding WHY the copper hydroxycarbonate formed from a copper wire, baking soda/water solution, and electric current (Ha! I just said this to impress you ladies - I really learned it along with the kids today). I think this course is going to "work" for these two, at this moment in time. And for me - I don't know all that much about chemistry and earth science at the upper levels.

It's a flow. Pick up on where your kids are at - suggest things, try things.

People learn by using so many methods. Unschooling isn't a method to me, it's a way of relationship, of not using a "system" to mold my child, but to let my child learn in whatever is the best way for him/her at a given time, for a given subject.

-- Karen